So what is marriage

What is marriage?

Based on the definition from Dictionary.com -a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage.

or

the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage

To read between the lines of the definition, the main two characters are focusing on two people who make an official decision and have intention to announce to everyone they are married couple.  Behind the scene, married couple is just a title. To hold the responsibility of marriage takes two to clap. It involves of commitment, communication, compassion, coordination, cooperation, concern and consideration.

Commitment – the married couple has to commit with one another for lifetime whether one fall sick, becomes poor, fat or thin, even gone insane. The couple has to stay with one another.

Communication – there are a lot of communication process going on as long you are handling with people. Whether the communication is broken, it has to restart and ensure that the message has pass to the end. Some people feel that communication is the toughest among the rest. As it need both to talk and listen at the same time. What more important is both have the same level of agreement that when one is talking, the other party is listening in affirmative and open minded. Allow one to finish the entire message before asking question. Stay calm and cool when it is touching personal topic. Moreover, communication is about learning about one another too. Always stay within the same topic before moving on to the next topic. This will help you stay focus and solve one issue after the other.

Compassion- have compassion with one another. When one is injure, hurt or sad, the other one show sympathy and sorrow for another accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. And please never ask Why to a lady. As lady wants from the man is to give them a 100% listen hear when they are hurt or sad. Do acknowledge that you are listening too. Please don’t give advice too. All they want is listen to them. They want 100% attention.

Coordination and cooperation – When a couple live in one roof, one another has to compromise with one another daily habit. And so, there are a lot of coordination and cooperation involve. Help one another with the household chores. Reminding one another for some stuff. Draw up a schedule of who take care of what and how to get it done. The ideal way is to share the tips. If there is rotation of duty, share what is the best way to get such and such things done in the fast and excellence way.

Concern- this is a must element in the term marriage. Some say guys stop concerning their wife after pronounce husband and wife. In my eyes, guys are always behaving the same way as the beginning. When they fall in love, they remain the same. On the other hand, lady start to compare and set a higher expectation. And when the expectation does meet, lady will despair and say the guy is lousy. But what is lousy? No one is lousy. It is a matter to learn and practice. Stay showing your concern to one another. And lady , let your expectation be the same.

Consideration- be mindful and thoughtful to one another. Speak with a careful mind. Use the right word at the right time. There is no reason that you want to create unnecessary unhappiness to your happy space.

What more important about marriage is to love one another, care for one another and learn together as a couple. It is a long life time. Be happy and have lots of fun.

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My personal library

I have a personal library at home where it had great collection of different types of books. I can use this phrase, “You name it, and I may have it” Recently, my mum was packing the room and dug out one book titled “Great Words from Great Lives” printed in 1977 by Reader Digest. It is 32 years old. (Mum instructed me to donate it to the National Library. I changed my mind and decided to keep it) I was said it is gem among the rest.
Quoted one of the Great Words

“I who am blind can give one hint to those who see – one admonition to those who would make full use of the gift of sight: Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be stricken blind. And the same method can be applied to the other senses. Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, the mighty strains of an orchestra, as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object you want to touch as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again.” by Helen Keller.

Some may think what does it mean. To me, it means Cherish every bits and pieces that I have NOW as in the present. Be it to a simple action, feel it, do it, see it, smell it, touch it with my heart and soul.

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Expectation overruled

I gained a new distinction five hours ago. That will be expectation is overruled. As well as no -looking forward for a particular day. Just realized whenever I looked forward to something, my expectation will go up. Then, it didn’t happened. And I will be very upset.

So no more looking forward to something. Just enjoy the present and let it flow. This will reduce the expectation level too.

Learned this lesson is a painful process and I will remember it. That’s what the old say. No pain, no gain.

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Sending love to all things

Owned this Fujitsu laptop for about 4 years. Never a time I say thank you to it for functioning well whenever I need it. (wondering why I say so) There are times I really take it for granted.

Today is a precious lesson that I learn to say Thank you. My PC taskbar is not working as normal. The center part of the taskbar function is show the open windows. My daily activity needs to open several important window at the same time. However, today the center part of the taskbar buttons don’t display any of the open windows. This cause a lot of disability to my daily activity. My first thought is to depend on the task manager to assist me in switching to different windows. Luckily, I have two computer genius online. I chatted with them for awhile. And found out other alternatives.

Understand that all those are still temporary alternatives, so I never give up to find a permanent solution. I took a long time to search and surf the net. Finally, I found the solution from msdn forum- by ggb1 who gave a website that provide solution to my pc problem. –taskbar repair plus

Thank you ggb1 for providing your solution on msdn forum. Thank you laptop for giving me time to solve the problem. Thank you brother for having the thought to let me use your PC too.

The lesson I gained today is appreciate all the things around me. Send kindness, gratitude and love to all things. Have good intention at all times, and intention will assist me at all times.

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Universe give in its own way

It has been my ritual to give sweets for my “house call” students. However, one day I forgotten to bring along the packet of sweets with me. The only thing I could thought of was to tell my student that I will be giving the sweet another day. At the back of my mind, I was praying for a small kiosk that sell sweets under some void deck.

The Universe answered my prayer in a special way. I changed my usual walking route and walked passed a void deck that happened to have snack dispenser machine. I was so elated over it. As I glared through the plastic panel of the dispenser machine, I saw some interesting candies and they cost $0.40 for one. The price is kind of high. I still wanted to buy it.

I took out $0.40 and slotted into dispenser machine – coin slot. To my surprise, the machine dropped 2 candies down to the dispenser pocket. I picked up the 2 candies happily and thanks the universe for the giving action.

The lesson I gained from this was give abundantly and receive abundantly. The Universe always give in its own way and it is depend on how open I am to receive them.

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Best Life Formula

You sow a thought, you reap an action. Reap an action, you sow a habit.

Sow a habit, you reap a character. Sow a character, you reap your destiny.

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What worry is all about

Worry drains the mind of much of its power and, sooner or later, it injures the soul. This is what worry is all about.

Solution – Trash out the junks from your mind, think positively and stay positively.

How to do? have quiet time with yourself.

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Be flexible

I was tutoring a child for her coming exam and this distinction came right to my face. I had planned a series of revision for this child. There is one of the revisions she refused to participate. At that moment, I was very angry as I felt that she wasted my time and effort. And there is  1 hour to go before ending the class. I was thinking very hard of what I can do to continue  the session. A little voice spoke to me this – read through the topic with her then or revise other topics.

I listened to the little voice – We read through that topic and she listen. We also revised other topic. The amazing part was that she participated fully and wanted  to study more.

What I learnt from this experience is Be Flexible at all time. Sometimes, there are times that need to go with the flow. So, let it flow. There may have wonderful outcome.

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New hairstyle

Had my third haircut of the year. And this round it even shorter than the first one. Haha… I look like a boy now. Faint….

Frankly speaking, I don’t really like this new look. I look like someone else in the mirror… As I shared with my hairstylist earlier that I had some issue about this hairstyle. Looks like this year is really a year to clear my childhood issue. It is somehow a year to heal my childhood issues.

The very moment, I keyed in this word – mirror.. This little voice say this: “looks beyond the physical appearance, looks within!” Kind of profound. haha. As this voice is getting louder, I decided to listen to it and change my thought to:

From now, I am  looking  within me  when I look at the mirror.

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An email from a friend

I received an interesting email from a friend about Warren Buffet. Feel that it will be nice to post it here to share to all bloggers and friends.

Do read as below.

There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second
richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very
interesting aspects of his life:

1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha ,
that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has
everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world’s largest private jet company.
6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies.
He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals
for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
He has given his CEO’s only two rules. Rule number 1: do not lose any
of your share holder’s money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
7. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time
after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch Television.
8. Bill Gates, the world’s richest man met him for the first time only
5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with
Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But  
when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates
became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
9. Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on  his desk.

His advice to young people: “Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself and
Remember:
A. Money doesn’t create man; it is the man who created money.
B. Live your life as simple as you are.
C. Don’t do what others say, just listen to them, but do what you feel  good.
D. Don’t go for brand name; just wear those things in which u feel  comfortable.
E. Don’t waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on those who really are in need.
F. After all it’s your life so why give chance to others to rule your life.”

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