my sanctuary

So what is marriage

jeanhoo — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 04:26:55 +0000

What is marriage?

Based on the definition from Dictionary.com -a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage.

the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage

To read between the lines of the definition, the main two characters are focusing on two people who make an official decision and have intention to announce to everyone they are married couple. Behind the scene, married couple is just a title. To hold the responsibility of marriage takes two to clap. It involves of commitment, communication, compassion, coordination, cooperation, concern and consideration.

Commitment – the married couple has to commit with one another for lifetime whether one fall sick, becomes poor, fat or thin, even gone insane. The couple has to stay with one another.

Communication – there are a lot of communication process going on as long you are handling with people. Whether the communication is broken, it has to restart and ensure that the message has pass to the end. Some people feel that communication is the toughest among the rest. As it need both to talk and listen at the same time. What more important is both have the same level of agreement that when one is talking, the other party is listening in affirmative and open minded. Allow one to finish the entire message before asking question. Stay calm and cool when it is touching personal topic. Moreover, communication is about learning about one another too. Always stay within the same topic before moving on to the next topic. This will help you stay focus and solve one issue after the other.

Compassion- have compassion with one another. When one is injure, hurt or sad, the other one show sympathy and sorrow for another accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. And please never ask Why to a lady. As lady wants from the man is to give them a 100% listen hear when they are hurt or sad. Do acknowledge that you are listening too. Please don’t give advice too. All they want is listen to them. They want 100% attention.

Coordination and cooperation – When a couple live in one roof, one another has to compromise with one another daily habit. And so, there are a lot of coordination and cooperation involve. Help one another with the household chores. Reminding one another for some stuff. Draw up a schedule of who take care of what and how to get it done. The ideal way is to share the tips. If there is rotation of duty, share what is the best way to get such and such things done in the fast and excellence way.

Concern- this is a must element in the term marriage. Some say guys stop concerning their wife after pronounce husband and wife. In my eyes, guys are always behaving the same way as the beginning. When they fall in love, they remain the same. On the other hand, lady start to compare and set a higher expectation. And when the expectation does meet, lady will despair and say the guy is lousy. But what is lousy? No one is lousy. It is a matter to learn and practice. Stay showing your concern to one another. And lady , let your expectation be the same.

Consideration- be mindful and thoughtful to one another. Speak with a careful mind. Use the right word at the right time. There is no reason that you want to create unnecessary unhappiness to your happy space.

What more important about marriage is to love one another, care for one another and learn together as a couple. It is a long life time. Be happy and have lots of fun.

Because there is ups and downs

jeanhoo — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:23:35 +0000

Many a time, my friends will comment that I am so lucky to be my own boss. Well, I will always replied them in humble,” I ‘m blessed”.
Actionpreneur was born in the year 2003, I couldn’t believe that it has been 6 years since. It never been an easy task. A lot of times, we were thrown into challenging situation. And what keep us around, is picking ourselves and “Just do it” . Due to these ups and downs, we grow. It can be stressful but I learn a lot through this process. From a person who dislike cold calling to answering and communicating with the other party no matter who they are. I have grow a lot. Thank you for such a powerful experience. Thank G.S

My personal library

jeanhoo — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:00:09 +0000

I have a personal library at home where it had great collection of different types of books. I can use this phrase, “You name it, and I may have it” Recently, my mum was packing the room and dug out one book titled “Great Words from Great Lives” printed in 1977 by Reader Digest. It is 32 years old. (Mum instructed me to donate it to the National Library. I changed my mind and decided to keep it) I was said it is gem among the rest.
Quoted one of the Great Words

“I who am blind can give one hint to those who see – one admonition to those who would make full use of the gift of sight: Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be stricken blind. And the same method can be applied to the other senses. Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, the mighty strains of an orchestra, as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object you want to touch as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again.” by Helen Keller.

Some may think what does it mean. To me, it means Cherish every bits and pieces that I have NOW as in the present. Be it to a simple action, feel it, do it, see it, smell it, touch it with my heart and soul.

Jumping over the moon

jeanhoo — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 07:59:05 +0000

Last night, I came with the intention to change my broadband to Mio home. And I ended up helping my parents to handle their telecommunication contract. I had applied a Redpac contract under my mum name for dad and Mum’s contract allow her to upgrade a new phone. And it comes with a free bluetooth earpiece.

Wow. Everything just comes in place nicely. I got a new phone for Dad -(apparently wanted to get a new handphone for a long time) The moment he entered the house, I told him about his new gadgets. His eyes were like sparkling stars. I could literally see that he was jumping over the moon. I am glad that small gift bring happiness to my parents.
Going back to the bluetooth earpiece, I have been wanting to get one for a long time. I didn’t expect to have it free. I am grinning from ear to ear too. My lesson learnt- When I give abundantly, I received abundantly too.

A simple thanks

jeanhoo — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:11:51 +0000

Neither am I a writer nor a poet. Neither am I intelligent nor stupid. Neither am I busy nor free. So what I have in me. Just me, my heart, my soul and my mind.

I feel this is so important to see myself as a whole. No judgment and no specific preference. Just simple soul. I like it this way.

Thank you heart for still pumping actively. Thank you soul for willing to experience more things openly. Thank you mind for still actively working and thinking. Thank you for being with you for so long. mauck

Baffled

jeanhoo — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 07:45:57 +0000

I was thinking about it for such a long time and I am baffled about the result that this boy scored. It was worse than a Primary 1 students. What really went wrong with him? He has no interest in his study? or he was simply too lazy. Many a times, I really want to give up hope on him. But there is this amazing force to hold on me and say “NO”. What can I do to help him? This is what I have been asking? How to help him? He can’t do Maths, English and Science. Everything he did was touching the red line.

Was it because of his attitude towards study or is it because the words that most of the educators had been telling him that put him down so much that he lost his interest in study.

Angel, pls help me. Give me some guidance to help this boy.

Expectation overruled

jeanhoo — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 03:59:39 +0000

I gained a new distinction five hours ago. That will be expectation is overruled. As well as no -looking forward for a particular day. Just realized whenever I looked forward to something, my expectation will go up. Then, it didn’t happened. And I will be very upset.

So no more looking forward to something. Just enjoy the present and let it flow. This will reduce the expectation level too.

Learned this lesson is a painful process and I will remember it. That’s what the old say. No pain, no gain.

Celebration

jeanhoo — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 06:15:08 +0000

The beginning of year 2009 is like a roller coaster to me. My career is showing amber light to signal me to review my teaching method and many others. A lot of time, I thought of giving up the idea of what I am doing now. However, there is always a silent answer from Angels and God saying hold on there, I will help you overcome this. And guess what, the light shone on me 10 minutes ago. I received a call from one of my student’s parent saying that her child will be coming back to my class even though it will be very tiring for him. Reason is that the student like the way I teach and he understand my teaching method. By hearing this, it gave me a sudden boost in what I am doing. I will continue what I have started and go on with my super hype drive. In addition to that, I will find more methods to deal with some issue that I have overlook.

Thanks boy for giving me this trust. And thanks to your mum for sharing it with me. Thanks Angels and God for prompting his mum to share this with me. It is indeed an antidote to my current feeling. Thanks. muack

New year with a new start

jeanhoo — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 01:19:26 +0000

There is always a new start in life. I started a good habit today. Before ending my day, I pray for all the goodness of the day that Angels has created for me. And I ended my prayer with the designated wake up time. I believe this technique will work but never try it at all ever since I read from a guru’ s book. Finally, I tried it and it works.

It is really so powerful and I am happy that I took the action today.

Thank you for the awesome bright morning .

Bitterly sad

jeanhoo — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 06:06:59 +0000

Bitterly sad is how I feel ever since the news break out for the past one week. There is no resolution at the end and it is getting worse. It affected my holiday mood. And guess what, I need to get back to working mood without a right break. I don’t care. I am going to plan for another super duper holiday.. but this country, I have to rethink about it.